Brittan Caldwell Hill 1998~2009

Have you ever seen a dog smile? This is for real, can't you just see the SMILE on her face?

Our beloved canine companion died this morning with the five people who love her the most in this world at her side.

I could have never imagined the joy one animal would bring into the life of our little family. Nor could I ever begin to realize the pain her loss would bring. We would have never been fully prepared for this unexpected farewell.
For anyone who has stepped foot into our home, you know that this dog is a major part of our lives. She's greeted many of you countless times with her slobbery plea to play a little ball. She's been our constant companion on hiking trips, mountain biking to Moab and playing in the river. Too many times to count, she has greeted night time story hour with her "gas" that leaves us all in speechless laughter & covering our faces. Recently, she has taken to climbing onto the counter and tables to get herself a tasty treat. Mostly because we stopped giving her people food, and she decided to take manners into her own paws :) I will miss the constant tripping over her as she would follow one of us aroung constantly. She's taken her role as nurse maid to our children without complaint, even though she might have been a little sad to lose the title as "first child" in our home.
She was the first living thing that Justin and I shared a deep love and companionship of during those first few years of our marriage.

We left our house yesterday morning prepared for a great day of fun. She was fine....I mean, she has slowed down a lot lately and had a few tummy troubles but otherwise pretty okay. Our day was filled with sunshine, soccer, and the much anticipated fair. It was a beautiful day! After the fair, we picked up a sitter and went out to dinner with our brother and sister in law. We returned home late yesterday evening to find her hunched under the kids swing set. Justin and I struggled to get her inside and make her comfortable.

It was clear to us both that she was dying.
I can't explain it in total, but I can tell you that neither of us felt as though we needed to get her to the vet. It wasn't something we even discussed. We just knew that the Winter of her life had arrived and we needed to embrace it. Deep inside, I think we both knew it was coming. Two months ago, we watched "Marley & Me" but refused to watch the ending.

We told the kids and stayed up nearly all night expressing our love for her, reminiscing about happier days with her and said our goodbyes. She and I spent one last restless night together. This morning we woke up and made her comfortable. She was not in pain. She seemed peaceful. Mid-morning, it was clear that she really wanted to be outside on the back porch. This was the spot she would always wait for us to come home so she could join us inside. She passed away around noon with all five of us at her side, while serene music played in the background. We watched her take her last breath. I am so grateful we were able to experience that with her. I am so grateful our children have learned at such a young age to love this deeply.

Isaac said to me after it was over, "Mom, I feel better."

I feel better too. Just knowing she was young until the day she died. She had played ball until she nearly collapsed in utter happiness last Sunday night and again on Thursday. Maybe we weren't ready to say goodbye. I don't think we would have ever been ready. But I know it was her time to be free.
It's an incredible thought that one little dog could give so much of herself, all of herself to the five of us. We still feel her love all around us.

I carefully selected which photographs I wanted to include in this post. There are so many more I want to share. I hope you don't mind......my posts the next several Sundays will be for me to share & remember this best friend of mine.